Some family disagreements do not end in a shouting match. They simply stop moving. The old house in the country has stood empty for nine years since Papa died. Three of the children want to sell, one wants to keep it, one lives abroad and does not answer messages about it, and nobody has the title in order. The roof is going. The yard is overgrown. Every Christmas someone raises it and the room goes quiet. It is like water building up behind a wall.
If you know that feeling, you may find hope in a short scene from the life of David.
The Lord of breaking through
Soon after David became king over all Israel, the Philistines came against him. The account in 1 Chronicles 14 says that David asked God whether he should go up against them, and God told him to go. David won, and he described the victory with a vivid picture: God had broken through his enemies “like a breakthrough of water” (1 Chronicles 14:11, NKJV). He named the place Baal Perazim, which means “master of breakthroughs”.
Anyone who has seen a gully after a heavy storm, or a wall give way under pressure, understands the image. What had been holding back suddenly gives, and everything moves at once.
The part we skip
It is tempting to jump straight to the burst of power. But the passage is careful to show what came before. David inquired of God first (1 Chronicles 14:10). And when the Philistines came back, he did not assume the same approach would work again. He asked a second time, and this time God gave him a completely different plan: do not go straight at them, circle round, and wait until you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the trees (1 Chronicles 14:14–15). Only then did he move.
Breakthrough in David’s story is not a matter of shouting louder or pushing harder. It comes after listening, and sometimes it comes by an unexpected route and on God’s timing.
Praying for a family that is stuck
For a family stuck over a house or land, that pattern is worth copying:
- Ask God before you act. Before the next family meeting or the next angry message, pray. Ask not only for victory, but for wisdom about what to say, and what not to say.
- Be willing to change approach. Maybe the last three attempts were frontal assaults: long voice notes, lists of grievances, ultimatums. Perhaps the breakthrough will come by a different path, such as a quiet one-to-one conversation, a neutral mediator, or letting the sibling abroad speak first.
- Listen for the sound in the trees. Watch for signs that hearts are softening: a brother who asks about the house without anger, a sister who suggests meeting. Those are moments to move.
- Do the practical work too. Breakthrough often comes through ordinary means. Getting a survey done, finding out from an attorney-at-law what is needed to sort out the title, or getting a valuation can take the heat out of a stalemate by replacing guesses with facts.
The walls that need breaking
In many family disputes, the real wall is not legal or financial. It is an old hurt: the child who felt less loved, the sibling who stayed home and cared for the parents while the others went abroad, the one who sent money and feels nobody noticed. Until those walls move, no amount of paperwork will bring agreement.
Paul reminds us that in Christ God has broken down the dividing wall of hostility between people who were once far apart (Ephesians 2:14). If He can do that between nations, He can do it between brothers and sisters around a dining table in the old family house.
When the breakthrough is slow
Sometimes families wait years. It may be that the breakthrough you pray for comes in a different form than you imagined: not everyone agreeing, but one relationship restored; not the house kept, but the proceeds shared fairly and without bitterness. Keep asking. Keep listening. The God of breakthrough has not lost interest in your family.
For reflection
- Where in your family is water building up behind a wall?
- Have you asked God what approach to take, or only asked Him to make others agree with you?
Pray with me
Lord of breakthrough, You see the places where our family is stuck. Before I speak or act, I ask for Your direction. Break down the walls of hurt and suspicion between us. Show us a way forward that is fair and honouring to You, and give us patience to wait for Your timing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This article is general information only and is not financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Please speak to a qualified professional about your own circumstances.
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