Barnabas and the Nephew Who Walked Off the Job

He was supposed to finish the blockwork by Easter. He was family, a sister’s son, good with his hands, and he needed the work. You paid him fairly, you bought the materials, and for three weeks he was there every morning. Then one Monday he didn’t come. Nor the next. The mixer sat in the yard with dried cement in it, and when he finally answered the phone, all he said was that he had “something else going on”.

Most families have a story like this. The cousin who collected the rent on the house back home and spent some of it. The brother who promised to handle the land papers and let them sit in a drawer for four years. The son who moved into the downstairs flat and never quite got round to paying. When the letdown involves property and money, the hurt goes deep, because it is not only feelings that were damaged. It is savings, plans and, sometimes, the roof itself.

The man who sold his field

The first time we meet Barnabas in the Bible, it is over a piece of land. Acts 4:36–37 tells us that Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus whom the apostles called Barnabas, meaning “son of encouragement”, sold a field he owned and laid the money at the apostles’ feet. He was a man who understood that property was something to be held with an open hand.

Later, Barnabas and Paul set out on a missionary journey, taking with them a young man called John Mark, who happened to be Barnabas’s cousin. Partway through, Mark left them and went home (Acts 13:13). We are not told why. Homesickness, fear, disagreement — the text is silent. What we do know is that when a second journey was being planned, Paul refused to take him. Barnabas insisted Mark should come. “They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company” (Acts 15:39). Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus; Paul chose Silas.

It is a comfort, in a way, that the Bible does not tidy this up. Two good men, both led by God, could not agree about a relative who had walked off the job. Both had a point. Paul was thinking about the work. Barnabas was thinking about the young man.

Second chances are not the same as no boundaries

When we talk about giving someone “another chance”, we sometimes imagine handing back the keys and pretending nothing happened. That is not what Barnabas did. He took Mark with him personally. He walked alongside him. The second chance came with company, closeness and, we can assume, some hard conversations on the boat to Cyprus.

In family property matters, a Barnabas kind of second chance might look like:

• Offering the nephew a smaller piece of work, with clear dates and payment on completion of each stage, rather than the whole job again.
• Letting the cousin keep collecting the rent, but agreeing together that receipts and a monthly statement will be sent.
• Sitting down with the brother and the land papers side by side, rather than leaving him to it alone.
• Putting an arrangement in writing, not as a sign of distrust but so that everyone knows where they stand.

Mercy and wisdom are not opposites. Barnabas was generous, but he was not naive.

The end of the story

Years later, writing from prison near the end of his life, Paul tells Timothy, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). The young man who had quit became someone Paul wanted by his side. Many believe this same Mark gave us the Gospel that bears his name.

We cannot promise that every relative who lets us down will turn out like Mark. Some won’t. Some second chances are wasted, and there are situations — repeated theft, threats, or harm to others in the home — where protecting people must come first. But families that never offer a second chance can harden into camps, especially where land and houses are involved. Grudges outlive buildings. A half-finished wall can be completed by someone else; a broken relationship between an aunt and her nephew can last a generation.

Barnabas saw something in Mark that Paul could not yet see. Perhaps that is what encouragement is: seeing a person’s future a little before they can see it themselves, and staying close enough to help them get there.

For reflection

• Is there someone in your family whose failure over a house, land or money still colours how you see them?
• What would a second chance with wise boundaries look like in that situation?
• Who was a Barnabas to you when you let others down?

A prayer: Lord, you know how deeply I was let down. Give me the wisdom of Paul and the heart of Barnabas. Show me where to set boundaries and where to open the door again, and help me to remember how many chances you have given me. Amen.

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