Still There in Year Twelve: Devotion That Outlasts the Housewarming

The housewarming was a great success. The yard was full, someone brought a sound system, the church sisters sent curry goat and rice and peas, and the pastor prayed a blessing over every room. Friends promised to help paint the back bedroom. Cousins said they would come every month. Neighbours swapped numbers and said, “Anything you need, just call.”

Twelve years later, the back bedroom was painted, eventually, by the owner alone. Most of the numbers have not been called. That is not a scandal; it is simply how life goes. Enthusiasm is easy to find at the start of things. What is rare is devotion that is still there in year twelve.

The long form of love

Paul wrote to the church in Rome: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10, NIV). The word translated “devoted” carries the warmth of family affection, the kind of loyalty that belongs between parents and children or brothers and sisters. It is not a feeling that arrives in a rush. It is a commitment that stays.

We tend to be good at short bursts. We rally when there is a crisis: the fire, the funeral, the hurricane. We give generously for a season when a cause is in the news. And then, quite naturally, our attention moves on. Devotion is what remains when the attention has gone.

Where devotion is tested at home

Homes and families offer plenty of places where devotion is quietly tested over years rather than days:

• An ageing parent. The first months of caring for a mother after a stroke are full of visitors and casseroles. By the second year, it is often one daughter, one son or one spouse, doing the lifting, the medicines and the night calls alone.
• A promise about the family house. “We will keep the old place for everybody.” It is easy to say at a graveside. Keeping it means paying the property tax, fixing the roof and agreeing on who uses it, year after year.
• Money sent home. Many in the diaspora have supported relatives for decades. Devotion here often means continuing to give wisely, without resentment, and also having honest conversations when circumstances change.
• A neighbour who is struggling. Checking on the elderly man across the road once is kind. Doing it every week for years is devotion.
• A marriage under one roof. The daily choice to honour a spouse, to speak well of them in front of the children, to carry more than your share when they are weary.

Honour as a habit

The second half of Paul’s instruction explains how devotion survives: “Honor one another above yourselves.” Honour, in daily life, is often a matter of keeping your word. You said you would fix the leaking tap for your tenant, so you do it this week, not next month. You told your brother you would pay half the cost of the fence, so you pay it without being chased. You promised your children you would be at the school concert, so you leave work early.

The psalmist describes the person who may dwell in God’s presence as one who “keeps an oath even when it hurts” (Psalm 15:4, NIV). That is devotion in its plainest form. It is not glamorous. But over time, homes and neighbourhoods are held together by people who do what they said they would.

When you are tired of being the devoted one

Some readers are the one who stayed. You are the sibling caring for Mummy, the neighbour who always checks, the spouse carrying the household through illness. You may feel unseen and worn thin.

Paul’s words elsewhere are for you: “let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9, NKJV). Devotion does not mean refusing help. It is right to ask others to share the load, to have honest family meetings, to look for support from church or community services, and to rest. Faithfulness over the long haul includes looking after yourself enough to keep going.

For reflection

• Which promise about your home or family has quietly slipped since you first made it?
• Who in your life has shown you long-haul devotion, and have you thanked them?

Pray with me

Faithful God, You have not grown tired of us. Give me a love that lasts past the excitement of new beginnings. Help me to keep my word, to honour those under my roof and beside my gate, and to keep going when no one is watching. Strengthen those who carry heavy loads of care. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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