In many homes there is a moment that happens every evening without anybody naming it. A son picks up his keys. A mother or grandmother, somewhere between the kitchen and the verandah, says, “Text me when you get there.” It sounds casual. It is not. It carries every news story she has ever watched, every funeral she has attended, every young man she has known who went out one night and did not come home.
For Black families in particular, in the Caribbean, in the UK, in North America, that fear has an extra edge. When news breaks of another young Black man shot or injured, whether by criminals or by those meant to protect the public, it does not stay on the television. It comes into the living room, and it sits at the table. Parents look at their own children differently that night.
A psalm written on the run
Psalm 34 opens with a line many of us know by heart:
“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1, NKJV)
It is easy to hear that as cheerfulness, but the heading of the psalm tells a different story. It links it to the time David pretended to be mad before a foreign king in order to escape with his life (see 1 Samuel 21). David was a fugitive, far from home, frightened enough to fake insanity. The praise in this psalm comes out of danger, not comfort.
And the psalm does not pretend the danger is gone. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous,” it says (verse 19). It speaks of those who are broken-hearted and crushed in spirit (verse 18). Praise, in Psalm 34, is not a way of shutting our eyes to suffering. It is a way of holding on to God in the middle of it.
It is all right to find praise hard
Some weeks, blessing the Lord at all times feels close to impossible. When a mother somewhere is weeping for her son, it can seem almost disrespectful to sing. The Bible makes room for that. The same book that contains Psalm 34 contains laments that ask God how long, why, and where he has gone. Jesus himself wept at a friend’s tomb.
So if your household is struggling to praise this week, you are not failing at faith. Lament and praise often live side by side in the same prayer. A family can light a candle, name the people they are grieving for, pray for justice and healing, and then, perhaps quietly, perhaps through tears, thank God that he is near to the broken-hearted. Both belong.
What a praying household can do
- Talk honestly with your children. Young people see the same news you do. Ask how they are feeling rather than assuming. Give them space to be angry, afraid or confused.
- Pray by name. For the families you hear about in the news, for your own children as they leave the house, for police officers and community leaders, and for justice to be done.
- Keep the door open. Let your home be somewhere young people from the district can come to talk, eat and feel safe.
- Act as well as pray. Psalm 34 tells us to seek peace and pursue it (verse 14). That can mean supporting local efforts for safer streets, mentoring, or standing with families who have lost someone.
- Get support for the fear. If anxiety is keeping you awake night after night, share it with your pastor, a trusted friend or a counsellor. You were not meant to carry it alone.
The Lord encamps
One of the most comforting lines in the psalm is verse 7: “The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them.” A camp is set up around something to protect it. Many mothers have prayed that line over a son as he walked out of the gate.
It is not a guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen. The Bible is too honest for that, and many faithful families have suffered terrible loss. But it is a promise that God does not abandon his people, in life or in death, and that he sees every injustice. That is something a household can stand on when the news is unbearable.
For reflection
- What fears come into your home when you hear news of violence against young people who look like your children?
- How might your household hold both lament and praise this week?
A prayer: Lord, we bring you the mothers who are weeping tonight, and the sons who are lying in hospital beds or have not come home. We bring you our own fear as our children walk out of the door. Be near to the broken-hearted. Bring justice where there is injustice and healing where there is harm. Camp around our homes and our children. And even when it is hard, teach our mouths to bless you, because you have not left us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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