Every family seems to have one. A quiet arrangement made at the kitchen table, never quite spoken of openly. The piece of land “promised” to the youngest because he stayed home. The house that Mother always said would go to the daughter who looked after her, while the others were abroad. The title that somehow ended up in one sibling’s name after a trip to the attorney that nobody else knew about.
Usually these arrangements begin with love, or with a sense of justice. Often they end in years of silence between brothers and sisters.
Two mothers in a hurry
The Bible is surprisingly candid about this sort of thing. Sarah had been promised that Abraham would have a son and that his family would become a great nation. The years went by, and no child came. So Sarah made a plan. She gave her servant Hagar to Abraham, saying, “Perhaps I shall obtain children by her” (Genesis 16:2). A son was born, but so was a rivalry that brought pain to everyone in that household.
A generation later, Rebekah had been told that the elder of her twins would serve the younger (Genesis 25:23). When Isaac, old and nearly blind, prepared to give his blessing, she did not wait to see how God would bring His word to pass. She dressed Jacob in his brother’s clothes, covered his hands with goatskin and sent him in with a savoury dish. The blessing went where she wanted it. And Jacob had to flee from his brother’s fury. As far as Scripture tells us, Rebekah never saw him again.
Both women believed God had spoken. Both decided He needed help. Both got something of what they wanted, and lost something far more precious along the way.
The blessing was about inheritance
It is worth noticing what Isaac’s blessing actually was. It was, among other things, about inheritance: who would carry the family name, who would lead the household, who would receive the father’s portion. In other words, it was the ancient version of the conversations many families have today over land, houses and wills.
The temptations are the same. A parent favours one child and quietly steers things their way. A sibling who feels overlooked takes matters into their own hands. Someone rushes to secure a title before the others can object. Each person may be sure they are doing what is right, even what God wants. But a promise seized by manipulation rarely feels like a blessing once it is in our hands.
God does not need our schemes
“The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does” (Psalm 145:13). Paul goes further: “For all the promises of God in Him are Yes” (2 Corinthians 1:20). Sarah still had Isaac. Jacob still became Israel. God’s purposes were not defeated by human scheming, but the scheming added heartache that did not need to be there.
That is a sobering thought for any of us holding family property in our hands, or hoping to receive some. God’s provision for our children does not depend on our cleverness in arranging it. It depends on His faithfulness. What He asks of us is honesty, fairness and trust.
What trust looks like at the kitchen table
Trusting God with an inheritance is not the same as doing nothing. Often it means doing the open, careful things that schemes try to avoid:
- Making a proper will with an attorney-at-law, and telling the family that it exists.
- Talking openly about intentions, especially where one child will receive more for a reason, such as years of caring.
- Getting titles and boundaries sorted while the older generation can still explain what was meant.
- Refusing to make quiet side deals, even when they seem kind.
- For those waiting to inherit: holding hopes loosely, and valuing the relationship above the portion.
When Mary heard a promise that seemed impossible, her answer was simple: “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). There is a freedom in that posture. We do our part openly and faithfully, and we leave the outcome with God rather than grasping it for ourselves.
For reflection
- Is there any arrangement over family property that I have kept hidden, or that I suspect others are keeping from me?
- What would it look like for me to trust God with what I hope to pass on, or hope to receive?
Faithful God, You keep every promise, and You do not need my schemes. Forgive me where I have tried to arrange things my own way. Give our family honesty in our plans, fairness in our dealings and peace with one another, so that what we leave behind is a blessing and not a quarrel. Amen.
This article is general information only and is not financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Please speak to a qualified professional about your own circumstances.
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