“What About the Children?” Numbers 14 and the Fears We Voice on Their Behalf

Listen closely to a family arguing about a big decision and you will often hear the children mentioned long before anyone asks the children anything. “We can’t move to the country, what about the children’s schooling?” “We can’t take on a mortgage, what if something happens and the children lose everything?” “We can’t leave this rented flat, the children are settled.” Sometimes these are wise concerns. Sometimes they are our own fears wearing our children’s clothes.

Numbers 14 is a chapter full of complaint, and at its heart is exactly this kind of argument.

The complaint at the border

The spies have come back from Canaan. The land is good, they say, but the cities are fortified and the people are big. Ten of them are sure it cannot be done. The whole community weeps through the night, and in the morning the grumbling hardens into a question aimed at God himself: why has the Lord brought us here to die, so that our wives and little ones become victims? Would it not be better to go back to Egypt? (Numbers 14:2-4).

Notice who they reach for. Not only themselves, but their children. It is a powerful argument, and it shuts down discussion. Who wants to be the one who put the little ones in danger?

Joshua and Caleb do not dismiss the fear. They answer it with who God is: “the LORD is with us. Do not fear them” (Numbers 14:9, NKJV). But the crowd will not hear it.

The children God brought in

Then comes one of the most striking reversals in the Old Testament. God says that the generation who complained will not enter the land. But the little ones they said would be victims, God will bring in, and they will know the land their parents rejected (Numbers 14:31).

The very children used as the reason not to go are the ones who end up going. God had them in mind all along, and he was more committed to their future than their parents’ fear was.

That is a sobering thought for anyone raising a family. Our fear can feel like protection, but it can also keep our children out of good things God intends for them. And our constant complaint teaches them something too. The generation that grew up in the wilderness had forty years of listening to their parents grumble at every campsite. It is a wonder they had any faith left to cross the Jordan.

In our houses

None of this means every risk is faith and every hesitation is sin. Scripture also praises careful planning, and there are times when saying no to a move or a loan is exactly what love requires. The question is what is driving the decision, and what our children are hearing from us while we make it.

Consider a family renting in a crowded area who have the chance to buy a small house in a new scheme further out. It will mean a longer drive, a new school, a smaller church. The parents go back and forth for months. In the evenings the children hear about the terrible roads, the crime they read about online, the neighbours who will probably be unfriendly, the builder who is probably a crook. By the time a decision is made, whether they move or stay, the children have absorbed one clear lesson: the world outside our door is full of giants.

Now picture the same family weighing the same questions honestly, but talking about them differently. “This will be hard in some ways. Here is what we are worried about. Here is what we are praying about. Here is what we know about God.” Whatever they decide, the children learn that fear is something you can name and bring to God, not something that gets the final word.

Letting the children speak

One more thing. In Numbers 14, the children say nothing. They are spoken about, not spoken to. Older children and teenagers often have more courage, and more sense, than we expect. It is worth asking them what they think about a move or a new house. They may surprise you, the way Caleb and Joshua surprised a frightened crowd.

For reflection

• Is there a decision about home or housing where I have used my children as the reason, when the real reason is my own fear?
• What do my children hear from me about the future, and about God, when I talk about money, houses and risk?

Father, you care for our children more than we do. Forgive us when we hide our fear behind their names. Give us the courage of Joshua and Caleb to see you bigger than the giants, and help our homes to be places where our children learn trust, not complaint. Amen.

Follow Jamaica Homes on Youtube @jamaicahomes and Instagram @jamaica_homes and on Facebook @jamaicahomesnews Send us a message or email us at onlinefeedback@jamaica-homes.com or editor@jamaica-homes.com