The lease is signed. The keys are in your hand. You have a mattress, two plates, a kettle and a bag of clothes. And somewhere between carrying the last box up the stairs and sitting on the floor of your first rented flat, a thought arrives that you did not expect: I have no idea what I am doing.
For many young people, that feeling carries an extra weight. They grew up without a father in the house, or with one who was present in body but not much help. Nobody showed them how to read a lease, bleed a water pump, budget for a light bill that doubles in August, or talk to a landlord who is not doing repairs. Some had wonderful mothers and grandmothers who carried everything, and who simply had no time left to teach. Others had nobody at all.
My times are in Your hands
David knew what it was to be let down by people close to him. In Psalm 31 he describes being forgotten, slandered and surrounded by fear. Yet in the middle of it he writes a short line that has steadied believers for three thousand years: “My times are in your hands” (Psalm 31:15, NIV).
Times, in the plural. Not only the big moments but the seasons: the first flat, the first job, the first time the rent is late, the first time you fix something yourself. David does not claim that every season will be easy. He claims that none of them is outside God’s care.
For someone who has learned not to rely on a father, this can be hard to believe. Trust feels risky when the people who should have shown up did not. But Scripture repeatedly presents God as the Father who does not leave. Psalm 68:5 calls Him a father to the fatherless. Psalm 27:10 says that even if father and mother forsake us, the Lord will receive us. That is not a sentimental phrase. It is a promise that you are not setting up your life alone.
The things nobody explained
Trusting God does not mean you will suddenly know how to change a fuse. But it can free you to learn without shame. Here are some of the things young renters most often say nobody told them.
- Read the lease before you sign. Know how long it runs, what notice you must give, what the deposit covers and who fixes what.
- Photograph everything on the first day. Every crack, stain and broken louvre, sent to the landlord with the date.
- Find the stopcock and the breaker box. Learn to turn off water and power before you need to in a hurry.
- Budget for the uneven months. Power, water and gas do not cost the same every month. Set aside a little in the cheap months.
- Keep receipts for rent. Always get proof of payment, especially if paying cash.
- Report repairs in writing. A message is better than a conversation at the gate, because it leaves a record.
- Buy a basic toolkit. Screwdrivers, pliers, a hammer, a torch and some tape will handle more than you think.
Borrowing a father’s wisdom
One of the gifts of the church is that it is meant to be a family. Paul told Timothy to treat older men as fathers and older women as mothers (1 Timothy 5:1-2). For a young person without a father’s guidance, that can be a practical lifeline.
Consider a young woman who moves into her first flat and finds the water heater is not working. She has no one to ask, so she calls the landlord three times and gets nowhere. Then, almost embarrassed, she mentions it to an older deacon after service. He comes by on Tuesday evening with his toolbox, shows her the tripped breaker, and then spends twenty minutes teaching her how the whole system works. Before he leaves, he writes his number on the wall beside the fridge and says, “Call me before you call anybody else.” She does, more than once. Years later, when she buys her own place, he is the first person she asks to look at it.
Asking for help is not weakness. It is often how God answers the prayer for a father’s wisdom.
To the older men reading this
There are young people in your congregation and on your road who have never had anyone show them how a house works. Many of them will not ask. A simple offer, such as “If anything breaks, call me”, or an afternoon helping someone move into a flat, may mean far more than you realise. You could be the answer to a prayer someone has been too proud to say aloud.
Starting from where you are
If you are sitting on the floor of your first flat, uncertain and a little afraid, you are in good company. Every capable homemaker started somewhere. Learn one thing this week. Ask one person for help. Put your rent receipt in a folder. And when the tap drips or the landlord goes quiet, remember David’s line. Your times, including this one, are in steady hands.
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