Four Names on the Title, One Person Paying the Property Tax. I’m Tired of It Being Me

A reader writes:

When our father died, the house in May Pen went to the four of us. My parents had put it in all our names years before, so there was no big court business. At the time we were all relieved. My two brothers live in England and my sister is in Florida. I am the only one still in Jamaica, twenty minutes away.

That was eleven years ago. Since then I have paid the property tax every year. I paid for the new zinc after the old roof started leaking over Mummy’s room. I pay the man who cuts the yard and the small insurance policy. When the pipe burst under the kitchen, I paid for that. My husband has been patient, but last year he asked me, quite gently, why our own children’s savings keep going into a house that belongs just as much to three people who never send a dollar.

I raised it once on our family WhatsApp group. One brother said he would “sort something out” and never did. My sister said she thought the house paid for itself because a cousin stays there sometimes. (The cousin pays nothing either, but that is another letter.) My other brother did not answer at all. I felt like a beggar asking my own family for money.

I love that house. It is where we grew up. But I am fifty-eight and I am starting to feel used. Part of me wants to stop paying and let it go to ruin to make a point. Part of me feels guilty even thinking that. What are my options?

— Marcia, Clarendon

Our response

Marcia, eleven years is a long time to carry something alone, and your frustration is understandable. You have kept the house standing for all four of you. That deserves recognition, and it is fair to want the burden shared. Letting it go to ruin would hurt you most, though, because you are the one who lives close enough to watch it happen, and a damaged house is worth less to everyone.

Get your records together

Start by gathering what you have paid over the years: tax receipts, invoices for the roof and plumbing, insurance, yard work. Even an approximate summary helps. Your siblings may genuinely not know the total. Seeing it in black and white often changes a conversation.

Have the conversation properly

WhatsApp is a hard place for serious family talks. Consider asking for a video call with all four of you, and send the summary beforehand. Keep the tone factual: this is what the house costs to keep each year, this is what I have paid, and this is what I am asking. Some families find it easier with a trusted person present, an older relative or a pastor, to help keep the peace.

Put the options on the table

• Share the costs going forward. Agree a yearly budget and each person’s share, perhaps paid into one account you can all see.
• Make the house pay its way. If the cousin or anyone else lives there, a modest agreed rent could cover the tax and upkeep. Get proper advice before becoming landlords together.
• Record what you have contributed. Some families agree in writing that the person who paid more will be credited if the house is later sold.
• Buy out or sell. If nobody else wants to contribute, it may be time to discuss whether one person buys out the others, or whether the house is sold and the proceeds divided.

Take legal advice

How your contributions are treated, and what each owner’s rights are if you cannot agree, depends on how the title is held and on the law. An attorney-at-law can explain your position, help draft a written agreement between the siblings, and advise on what happens if one of you wants to sell. It is worth doing this before tempers rise further.

Guard your own household

Your husband’s question is fair. It may help to decide together how much you are willing to keep paying while this is being sorted out, and for how long. Loving your family of origin does not require neglecting the one you made.

Scripture pictures siblings dwelling together in unity as something good and pleasant (Psalm 133:1). Unity is not the same as silence. Sometimes the most loving thing is to name a problem clearly so the family can fix it together.

This article is general information only and is not financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Please speak to a qualified professional about your own circumstances.

Reader letters may be edited for length and clarity, and names and identifying details are changed.

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