Somewhere in most Caribbean families there is an old person who knows things nobody has written down. She knows which uncle laid the first blocks of the house, and in what year. She knows that the mango tree by the gate was planted the week her first child was born. She knows the boundary does not run along the fence at all, but along a line of stones in the bush that her father showed her when she was nine. She knows why the back room was added, who paid for the zinc after the hurricane, and which cousin was promised the corner piece.
Most of the time, nobody asks her.
What a day may bring
Proverbs 27:1 is blunt: do not boast about tomorrow, because you do not know what a day may bring. We tend to read that as a warning against arrogance, and it is. But it is also a quiet invitation. If tomorrow is not promised, then today is a gift, and the conversations we keep putting off belong to today.
Families often realise this only at a funeral. Standing in the yard after the nine night, someone asks, “Who did Grandpa buy this land from?” and nobody knows. Someone else says, “Mama always said the piece by the road was for Aunty Pearl,” and a quarrel begins that the one person who could settle it is no longer here to settle.
The practical stories
Some of what our elders carry is the kind of information that attorneys, surveyors and siblings will badly need one day. It is worth asking about gently, and writing down:
- Where did the land come from? Was it bought, inherited, given, or simply occupied for a long time?
- Is there a title, a receipt, an old agreement, a will? Where are the papers kept, and who has seen them?
- Where are the boundaries, really? Who are the neighbours, and were there ever disagreements?
- Who built what, and who paid? When was the house extended or repaired?
- What promises were made, to whom, and in front of whom?
- Are the property taxes paid, and in whose name?
None of this replaces proper legal advice or a proper survey. Memories fade and can be mistaken. But an elder’s account often points to the right papers, the right people and the right questions, and it can prevent years of confusion later.
The other stories
Then there are the stories that no attorney will ever ask for, and that matter just as much.
How did it feel to move into the house the first time? What did the yard look like before the road was paved? Who used to sleep in the little room? What did the family do the night the storm took the roof, and who came to help? Where did they hold church before the church was built? What was the hardest year in the house, and how did they come through it?
These stories are how children and grandchildren learn that the house is not just blocks and zinc. They learn that people sacrificed for it, prayed in it, grieved in it, and trusted God through hard seasons in it. The psalmist wanted exactly that for his people: that the next generation would hear what God had done and set their hope in Him (Psalm 78:4-7). A family’s house can be one of the places where that telling happens.
How to ask
Asking an old person about land and houses can feel awkward, even greedy, as though you are waiting for them to die. So be clear about why you are asking. “I want to know the story of the house so the children know it.” “I want to make sure nobody quarrels over what you and Grandpa worked for.” Most elders are glad to be asked, and many have been waiting a long time for someone to care.
Pick a calm time. Sunday afternoon on the verandah after dinner is ideal; a crowded Christmas table is not. Bring a notebook, or ask if you can record on your phone. Let them wander. The boundary story may come in the middle of a story about a cow that got loose. Resist the urge to correct or argue. Write down names, dates and places as best you can, and come back another day with follow-up questions.
If there are several siblings or cousins, consider asking together, or sharing the notes openly afterwards. Information held by one person alone can become a source of suspicion.
Then act on what you hear
Sometimes what you learn will be reassuring: the title is in order, the taxes are paid, the will is with the attorney. Sometimes it will be worrying: there is no title, the land was never surveyed, a promise was made that contradicts what everyone else believes. Either way, it is far better to know now, while the person who knows is still there to explain.
Where there are gaps, the next steps might include finding the old papers, having the land surveyed, speaking to an attorney-at-law about the title, and helping your elder put their wishes in writing. Those are not cold, legal steps. Done with love, they are a way of honouring a lifetime’s work.
Today, not someday
It is easy to say, “I’ll ask her properly next time I’m home.” Many people who live abroad say that for years. But you do not know what a day may bring. If you can, sit with her this Sunday. If you cannot be there, call. Ask about the house. Ask about the land. Ask about the hard year and how God brought them through it. Then listen, and write it down.
Every day with the people who remember is a gift. So is every story they are still able to tell.
This article is general information only and is not financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Please speak to a qualified professional about your own circumstances.
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