There is a particular kind of crying that happens in kitchens. Not the dramatic kind, but the quiet sort that comes after the children are in bed, when a letter from the bank sits open beside a cold cup of tea. The mortgage is two months behind. Or the rent has gone up again. Or the roof has finally given way over the back room and there is simply no money to fix it. You have been strong all day. Now, alone at the table, the tears come.
Many Christians feel ashamed of those tears, as if crying were a sign that faith had failed. It is not.
Jesus wept
The shortest verse in most English Bibles is also one of the most comforting: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35, KJV). He was standing near the tomb of His friend Lazarus. He knew what He was about to do; within minutes, Lazarus would walk out alive. And still He wept. He did not skip past the grief of Mary and Martha to get to the miracle. He entered into it.
That tells us something about the God we pray to. He does not stand at a distance from our distress, waiting for us to pull ourselves together. He comes close enough to cry with us. If the Son of God could weep at a graveside, we need not be ashamed to weep over a notice of arrears.
Tears God keeps
The psalmist, writing from a time of danger and fear, says something remarkable: “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?” (Psalm 56:8, KJV). The image is of God collecting every tear, noting each one, keeping a record not of our failures but of our sorrows. Nothing we cry over is overlooked.
For anyone whose home is under strain, that is worth holding onto. The stress of a family trying to keep a roof over their heads is not too small or too worldly for God to notice. The late nights, the sums that will not add up, the fear of telling the children: He sees them.
When comfort comes too fast
Sometimes the hardest thing about crying is what other people say next. A friend opens up about losing their job and falling behind on the house. We want to help, so we reach quickly for a verse: “Don’t worry, God will provide.” It is true. But said too soon, it can land as “please stop crying”. The person feels they have to explain their tears, or hide them next time.
Paul gives a simpler instruction: “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep” (Romans 12:15, KJV). Weeping with someone comes before fixing their problem. Sitting at the kitchen table with them, letting the silence be, saying “this is hard” and meaning it, can be the most spiritual comfort we offer.
Then, when the time is right, practical love can follow. A meal dropped round. An offer to go with them to see the lender or the landlord. A small gift, given quietly. Help to find someone qualified who can talk through the options for the debt. Comfort that cries first and helps second is rarely forgotten.
Letting tears lead somewhere
Tears are not meant to be the end of the story. At Lazarus’s tomb, Jesus’ weeping moved into prayer and then into action. For us, tears can do something similar. They release what we have been holding in. They make room to pray honestly, not in polished words but in whatever we have. And often, once the crying is done, the next practical step becomes a little clearer: the phone call to make, the person to ask for help, the budget to redo.
What tears should not do is lead us into hiding. When money trouble brings shame, we are tempted to keep it secret, from our spouse, our church, even ourselves. We turn to things that numb the pain for a while. Better to cry, and then to tell someone. Pressure shared is almost always lighter than pressure carried alone.
If you are struggling to cope, or have thoughts of harming yourself, please speak to someone you trust today, or contact a doctor or a local crisis line. You do not have to carry this alone.
For reflection
- Is there a strain in your home that you have been keeping to yourself? Who could you share it with this week?
- When someone else cries in front of you, do you rush to fix it, or can you sit with them first?
Lord Jesus, You wept with Your friends, and You see every tear we cry. Meet us at our kitchen tables, in the bills and the worry and the fear. Give us courage to ask for help, and give us tender hearts to weep with those who weep. Amen.
Follow Jamaica Homes on Youtube @jamaicahomes and Instagram @jamaica_homes and on Facebook @jamaicahomesnews Send us a message or email us at onlinefeedback@jamaica-homes.com or editor@jamaica-homes.com
Visit our YouTube Community ↗