By the time Jacob reached the river Jabbok, he had become a very successful man. He had arrived at his uncle Laban’s house with nothing but a staff. Twenty years later he was leaving with two wives, eleven sons, servants, camels, and flocks large enough to be split into two camps. He had built all of it the way he did everything: with hard work, sharp bargaining and more than one clever scheme.
But now he was heading home, and home meant Esau, the brother he had cheated out of his blessing. Word came that Esau was on the way with four hundred men. So Jacob did what he always did. He made a plan. He divided the household so that if one camp was attacked the other might escape. He sent wave after wave of animals ahead as gifts. He sent his wives and children across the river. And then, the text says, “Jacob was left alone” (Genesis 32:24).
When everything you own has gone on ahead
There is something very familiar about that picture. Everything a man has worked for has been sent ahead of him, and he is left on the dark side of the river with nothing to manage.
Many households have their own Jabbok. A builder has disappeared with the deposit. The arrears letter from the lender has come, and the last idea for making the payments has already been tried. A family property dispute has gone so far that nobody is speaking. A business that paid for the house has failed. We have divided the camp, moved money around, called in favours. And still the problem is walking towards us.
That is often the moment God chooses to meet us.
Wrestling until daybreak
A man wrestles with Jacob until the break of day. Jacob, being Jacob, does not give up easily. Even when his hip is put out of joint, he holds on. When the man says, “Let Me go, for the day breaks,” Jacob answers, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” (Genesis 32:26).
At first it sounds like the old Jacob, still trying to get something out of someone. But listen more closely. This time he is not negotiating from strength. He is injured and pinned, and he knows he cannot scheme his way out. All he can do is cling on and ask. After a lifetime of relying on his own wits, Jacob has finally found the end of them, and discovered that the end of his wits is where blessing begins.
God gives him a new name: Israel, one who has struggled with God. And he gives him a limp. Jacob crosses the river at sunrise to meet his brother, walking differently than he ever had before.
Why we wait so long to ask
Most of us are not so different. We will ask God for help, in a general way. But we tend to keep our real problems in our own hands until they are desperate. The same is true with people. A homeowner will often avoid calling the lender until three payments have been missed, avoid telling a spouse about a debt until the bailiff’s notice arrives, and avoid asking the church for help with the roof until the rain is already in the bedroom.
Pride plays a part. So does fear. But often it is simple habit. We have always coped, and we cannot imagine a version of ourselves that does not.
Jacob’s night at the Jabbok suggests another way. Honest struggle with God is not a failure of faith. It is often the beginning of a truer faith. And asking for help, from God first and then from the people he places around us, is not weakness. It is the posture in which blessing can finally be received.
Walking with the limp
It is worth noticing that Jacob does not come out of that night unscathed. God blesses him, but he limps for the rest of his life. Sometimes the answer to our hardest housing or money crisis will also leave a mark. The house may have to be sold. The family may need to move somewhere smaller. A marriage may have to learn a new honesty about money. These are not signs that God has failed us. They can be the very means by which he makes us into different people who need a different name.
And the story does not end at the river. When Jacob finally meets Esau, his brother runs to him and embraces him. The disaster he had planned so carefully to avoid turns into reconciliation. Jacob says that seeing his brother’s face is like seeing the face of God (Genesis 33:10).
For reflection
- What problem in your household are you still trying to manage alone that you need to bring honestly to God?
- Who is one person, professional or friend, you have been too proud or afraid to ask for help?
A prayer
Lord, you know how long I have tried to handle everything by myself. Tonight I have run out of plans. I will not let you go. Meet me in this struggle, bless me, and make me the person you want me to be, even if I walk differently afterwards. Give me the humility to ask for help, and the faith to cross the river in the morning. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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