My Niece Rents the Little House in My Yard and Pays on the Twentieth, the Twenty-Sixth, Whenever

A reader writes:

I retired from the post office four years ago. On my lot in Montego Bay there is the main house, where my wife and I live, and a small two-room house at the back that my father built. When my niece Kerry-Ann separated from her husband last year she needed somewhere for herself and her little boy, and we said she could rent the back house. We charge her well below what a stranger would pay. We are not trying to make money off family. But my pension is not big, and that rent was meant to cover our light bill and some of my wife’s medication.

The rent is due on the first. In eleven months it has never come on the first. It comes on the twelfth, the twentieth, one time the twenty-sixth. She always pays in the end, I will give her that. But each month I am waiting, and my wife is asking me, “You hear from Kerry-Ann yet?” and I am making excuses for her.

What bothers me is that I see her car in the yard with new rims. I see the little boy with a new tablet. I don’t begrudge the child anything. But it tells me the money is there, and the rent is just last in the line.

I have hinted. I said once, “The light company don’t wait till the twentieth, you know.” She laughed and said, “Uncle, you know I good for it.” My wife says I am too soft. My sister, Kerry-Ann’s mother, would take it very badly if I made trouble for her daughter.

I don’t want to put her out. I just want the money on time. How do I say this without it becoming a whole family war?

— Winston, St James

Our response

Winston, you have been generous to a family member at a hard point in her life, and you are right to want the arrangement to be dependable. Late rent from family is one of the most common strains in shared yards, precisely because nobody wants to be the one who makes it formal.

Decide what this arrangement is. Is it help, or is it a tenancy? Both are good things, but they are different. If the rent genuinely matters to your household budget, as you say it does, then it is a tenancy, and it is fair to treat the due date as real. If at some point you want to help her more, you can choose to lower the rent openly. A gift you decide to give is very different from one that is taken for granted.

Replace hints with one plain conversation. Jokes about the light company are easy to laugh off. Choose a calm moment, perhaps with your wife present, and say it simply: “We are glad to have you here. We need the rent on the first, because it pays our bills. What would make that possible for you?” Proverbs has a word that fits both sides: “Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you” (Proverbs 3:28). You don’t need to quote it at her, but it is a fair standard to hold gently.

Solve the practical problem. Some late payers are not careless so much as badly timed. Options to discuss include:

• Moving the due date to the day after her payday.
• Paying in two halves each month, if her income comes fortnightly.
• A standing order or scheduled transfer from her bank account, so the rent leaves before the rims and the tablets.
• A simple receipt book or shared note so you both have a record.

Put it on paper. A short written agreement covering the rent, the due date, what happens if it is late, and who pays for utilities protects the relationship as much as the money. An attorney-at-law can help you draw one up and explain what rights and duties apply to you both where you live. Do this before any talk of notice, and never try to pressure a tenant out by cutting off water or light.

Keep your sister informed, not involved. You might tell her you are putting things in writing so there are no misunderstandings, rather than asking her to referee. If the conversation with Kerry-Ann becomes difficult, a pastor or a respected older relative who is not her parent can sometimes help both sides hear each other.

Being firm about the rent is not unkind. It helps her build a habit she will need wherever she lives next, and it helps you keep caring for her without a knot of resentment every month. Paul’s instruction to “owe no one anything except to love one another” (Romans 13:8) is a good picture of what you are aiming for: a yard where the rent is simply settled, and the love can get on with its work.

This article is general information only and is not financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Please speak to a qualified professional about your own circumstances.

Reader letters may be edited for length and clarity, and names and identifying details are changed.