Every household seems to have one. The conversation that comes up every New Year and every Easter and every time a cousin visits from abroad. “We really need to sort out Papa’s land.” “Next year we’re going to start the extension.” “When things settle down, we’ll look for a bigger place.” “We must make a will.”
Everyone agrees. Nothing happens. The same rent is paid on the same small flat, the same survey sits unfinished, the same blocks stack up in the yard under a tarpaulin. Months turn into years. It is not that anybody refuses. It is that the household is running on autopilot, and the big decision is always just over the horizon.
A commander who wanted company
In Judges 4, Israel has been oppressed for twenty years. Deborah, a prophet who judged the people under a palm tree in the hill country, calls a man named Barak and tells him God has commanded him to gather troops and go out against Sisera’s army. God will give victory.
Barak’s reply is very human. He will go, he says, but only if Deborah goes with him. If she will not, neither will he (Judges 4:8). He believes the word, sort of. He simply cannot bring himself to move alone.
Deborah agrees to go, with a warning that the honour of the victory will not be his. Then, on the day itself, with the enemy’s chariots gathering, she says to him: “Up! For this is the day in which the Lord has delivered Sisera into your hand. Has not the Lord gone out before you?” (Judges 4:14). And Barak goes down the mountain.
Why we stay on the mountain
Housing decisions have a way of keeping us on the mountain. They are expensive, they involve family, and they are hard to undo. It feels safer to keep talking than to start. Some of the reasons are good ones: waiting until finances are steadier, until a child finishes school, until an elderly parent’s needs are clearer. Wisdom sometimes says wait.
But some of the reasons are simply fear dressed up as prudence. Fear of the conversation with siblings about the land. Fear of the bank saying no. Fear of starting a build and not being able to finish. Fear of being the one who pushed and was wrong. Like Barak, we may believe God is able, and still not want to walk down alone.
There is no shame in wanting company. Barak’s request was honoured. But there came a day when the waiting had to stop, and someone had to say, “Up.”
What “up” might look like at home
Breaking autopilot rarely means a dramatic leap. More often it is the first concrete step that turns talk into motion:
- Booking the appointment with the attorney about the family land, instead of discussing it again at Christmas.
- Asking a lender what you could actually borrow, so the bigger house stops being a vague wish.
- Getting the surveyor out, or the engineer’s opinion on the extension.
- Setting up the standing order into a house fund, however small.
- Calling the family meeting, with a date, a time and an agenda.
- Writing the will.
None of these commits you to the whole journey. Each simply moves you off the mountain and onto the road.
The Lord has gone out before you
The heart of Deborah’s word to Barak is not “you can do it”. It is “Has not the Lord gone out before you?” The courage she offers comes from knowing that God is already ahead on the road. That does not guarantee every housing plan will succeed. It does mean we do not step out alone, and that faithfulness in taking the next step is itself a way of trusting him.
Sometimes a household needs a Deborah: a friend, a pastor, a spouse, a grown child, who loves you enough to say, “We have talked about this long enough. This is the day.” And sometimes you are called to be that voice for someone else.
For reflection
- Is there a decision about your home or land that your household has postponed for years? What is the real reason?
- What is one small, concrete step you could take this month?
- Who could walk with you, as Deborah walked with Barak?
A prayer
Lord, you know the conversations we keep having and the steps we keep avoiding. Give us wisdom to know when to wait and courage to know when to move. Send us people who will walk with us, and remind us that you have gone out before us. Where it is time, help us to get up and begin. Amen.
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