Try this the next time you come home. As you open the gate and walk to the door, pay attention to what your mind does. For many of us, it starts a list without being asked. The paint on the grille is peeling. The grass needs cutting. That crack above the window is getting longer. The neighbour’s music is too loud again. The light bill is due on Thursday. By the time we are inside, we have already had a small argument with the house.
None of those thoughts is false. Things do need fixing. But the list is not neutral. Run it every day for years, and it shapes how we feel about the place we live, and about the people who live in it with us.
A different list
Paul wrote to the church at Philippi from prison, hardly a comfortable home. And he gave them a list of his own:
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, NKJV)
Notice that the first word on his list is true. Paul is not telling us to pretend. The crack above the window is true, and a wise homeowner will get it looked at. But Paul does not stop at true. He goes on to what is noble, lovely and praiseworthy, and he says to dwell there. Not to glance at it on the way past, but to meditate on it.
What is lovely about this house?
It can feel almost silly to ask. But try it. Stand in your kitchen and name what is lovely: the morning light through the louvres, the mango tree your father planted, the pencil marks on the door frame where the children’s heights were measured, the sound of rain on the roof when you are dry inside. Name what is praiseworthy: the roof that held last hurricane season, the tank that has never quite run dry, the neighbour who waters your plants when you travel.
These things were true yesterday as well. We simply were not thinking about them.
Our thoughts furnish the house
What we dwell on doesn’t stay in our heads. It comes out in the tone of voice we use when a spouse asks about the budget, in how we talk about the neighbours in front of the children, in whether our home feels like a place of complaint or of gratitude. A family can live in a beautiful house and feel poor because the conversation at the table is always about what is missing. Another can live in two rented rooms and feel rich.
This applies to people as much as to walls. If the only thoughts we allow about a difficult relative, a slow builder or a noisy tenant are the worst ones, we will speak to them accordingly. Paul’s list asks us to look for what is just and of good report even in people who frustrate us, not to excuse wrongdoing, but to see them whole.
Taking thoughts captive
Elsewhere Paul speaks of “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NKJV). It is a strong phrase. It suggests that our thoughts do not simply happen to us; we can notice them, question them and redirect them.
A practical way to start is to set aside a few minutes each week, perhaps on a quiet Wednesday evening, to reflect on how you have been thinking about your home, your family, yourself and God. Where has the list in your head been fair? Where has it turned into grumbling, fear or envy of someone else’s house? What have you failed to notice that deserved thanks?
Some households keep Philippians 4:8 on a card by the front door, so that it is the last thing they read going out and the first thing they see coming in. It is a small reminder that the way we enter a house matters.
For reflection
- What list does your mind run when you walk through your front door?
- Name three things about your home, or the people in it, that are lovely or praiseworthy. When did you last say them out loud?
A short prayer
Lord, You know the thoughts I carry through my door each day. Help me to see my home truthfully, and then to see what is good in it. Teach me to dwell on what is lovely and praiseworthy, in these walls and in these people, so that my words and my house may be full of gratitude. Amen.
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